Take a Breath

It's almost sad that I sang the Elmo song "Take a Breath" when I typed that title . . . but not so much sad as just a telling commentary of my life!!

I am feeling a little overwhelmed with all that is on my plate right now. HA! I just spent 4 of the last 8 months as a single parent, and NOW I am feeling overwhelmed. I find a great sense of peace that our family is together now . . . and I am adapting to the fact that my career is going away and being replaced by another . . . but these are the top 10 things that are going through my head right now - and it's only 7:30am

1. Jillian Michaels is not my friend - but if this remaining 18lbs comes off, I will let her slide since she made a workout video that I can do in 20 min . . .even though I now feel like I can't really move
2. Why can I not find more time to read?!?!?
3. How in the heck am I supposed to build a business when I don't like soliciting? I like the people side, and I can sell . . . but you see, I need the people!
4. 45 days until the beach - 18 lbs in 6 weeks should be doable - can you tell I am all of a sudden very tired of my remaining baby weight! And if 18lbs seems like all of my baby weight, take into account the following numbers: I was 265lbs the day Marlie was born and 188 the day I found out I was prego with Sam - then 245lbs the day Sam was born - I'm down to 184 - 166 is the goal!!
5. I seriously need to work on my spirituality - but I am moving forward - finding the calm and Zen in the everyday life - you try doing a load of laundry and finding peace - I'm trying, and it's working
6. If our house does not sell by the end of May, then it's going to be savings dipping time - this does not thrill me
7. I am now paying for people to mow my lawn in Clarksville and in Knoxville at the same time - again with money going out the door
8. Am I teaching my girls enough?!! Is there enough educational output going into their brains each day . . . this boils down to my constant fear that I am not doing enough - that fear subsides when my daughter looks at me out of the blue and says "I love you Mom" - luckily she says it often so the doubt can't creep in!
9. I am grateful and confident in my decision to move every time my husband comes home happy from work - and on time! He has earned it and I am thankful that he has that
10. I realized that in a few short weeks I will not answer to anyone on the professional front - I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders . . . now I have only myself to blame/thank for my success/failure . . . . weight back on!

So now it's written . . . I've typed it out . . . and as the phrase goes . . . RELEASE AND BE AT PEACE . . . and take a breath . . . .