I just read a great post about helping children adapt to change and it made me think about my kids. It's fair to say that while I try to keep stability in their life as much as possible, it is inevitable with parents that thrive on change that they are going to experience their fair share of upheavels . . . I mean, while it's a far off non-attainable dream of mine to have a home and live there for 40 years and have my kids and grandkids come home to it - that is not me. I would love that sense of security and that feeling of never having to move again . . . I would like it for about 3 years until it would wear on me . . . I think . . . maybe I would like the opportunity to find out though . . .
Anyway - the post gave tips on getting your children on board with change . . . I can see the value in some of the approaches, however, I've never really had to get my kids on board with changes. We are very routine in our day - the girls know what to expect at each time of the day, and while that routine may at times seem rigid, all it really is to me and them is organized chaos. I think that the structure they have had at every point in their daily life has almost given them the ability to go with the flow in the event that it differs from the norm . . . this is most likely a very unearned and premature pat on my back, but I think that through the routine and the constant of the day to day maybe they have an inner peace that allows change to not rock their boats so much because they know tomorrow will likely be a normal day . . .
This excites me . . . because I don't think twice about changing stuff up and so they don't either. And I think that's completely awesome!!!! Because who wants to be a totally static person?!?! I certainly have learned enough to know that I don't know enough, so I best be willing to give myself the permission and the freedom to change. It seems small, but right now our change is that we are converting our kitchen to a paperless kitchen. It seems weird, but did you know that you can live without paper towels and paper napkins . . . and let me tell you, my dish towels and cloth napkins are sooooo much cuter than any paper one you can find! But I didn't even think twice about it - I just said to myself and Jayson, this is how it's going to be. And last night as Marlie was setting the table she looked at Sam, who found the remaining paper napkins leftover in a drawer she could reach, and very simply said "No Sam, here are the cloth napkins, we really don't need to waste the paper, it hurts the trees" . . . I know it seems like a small thing, but she made the change without even a 2nd thought or question . . . it's the little things like this that will build up over time and make our kids more agreeable to change . . .
I have to find peace in that because it hurts my heart at times to think that they we will move at least a couple more times probably, and I don't want to think I am destroying my child's life when she has to switch schools or make new friends . . . but so far, she's done great . . . and she looks at new things, like a new school, and says "I bet I will meet new people and that could be fun" . . . .
I guess the point of my rambling is that I don't want kids that have to adapt to change - I want kids that embrace change and roll with it . . . because after all, change is the only thing in the universe that is constant, right?!?! :)
2 months ago